I have wanted to write. I have always wanted to write. I have been wanting to write since the day I have wanted to write. And I have never written.

Sometimes I wonder what stops me. Other times, I wonder why I wonder instead of just putting the damn thoughts on paper. Right now, I guess it must be the "other times". But yeah, am still wondering. Is it the fear of being ridiculed ? Or is the fear of not being understood ? Or worse, is it the fear of being misunderstood ? Are all these fears unfounded ? Are they just a gimmick of my mind, purely intended at obstructing what i want to do ? But then, what i want to do is also dictated by the mind. So is the mind inherently self-contradictory ? Or is there a feeling of attaining visceral pleasure which intimidates it from going with the flow ? Is my mind a prisoner of itself ? Or is it just too entangled in the web of societal patterns it has been brought up, it has been molded to ?

I really dont know. Every time i embark on the journey, i end up utterly confounded. But I still do it. Even though I know nothing awaits me at the end but chaos, unstructured thoughts, frustration at the willingness of doing it again and again and reaching nowhere, and a sense of deja vu. Every time i embark on the journey, i reach for my cigarettes. I reach out for a companion. Maybe I am too weak to explore the unseen, the unquestioned, the guttural depths of my mind on my own. Maybe the cigarette just comforts me with the knowledge that I have something under control, an action, an outcome which i can dictate. But then, so can an ipod, a fan, a television and zillions of other "products". So why does it have to be a cigarette ? Is there a desire which drives me to self-annihilation ? But then, a desire is also dictated by the mind. Why would my brain concoct a mechanism to destroy the very body that it tries to protect so fiercely through trillions of blood cells, vitamins, proteins and incomprehensible chemical and physical reactions evolved over a billion years ?

Am I my biggest enemy ?

I dont know.

Mama am (be)comin Mature

Maturity : A Rational Take

The bond's maturity date refers to a future date on which the issuer pays the principal to the investor. Bond maturities usually range from one day up to 30 years or even more. But this maturity date must be seen as the last future date (except if the borrower is in default) on which the investor will receive the principal amount from to the issuer. Depending on redemption features, the real reimbursement date can be very different (much shorter). These redemption features usually give the right to the investors and/or the issuer to advance the maturity date of the bond.
Source : : http://www.asset-analysis.com/bonds/bonmatur.html

SO .......I think the definition of Human Maturity can be developed as a corollary ... read below for further details -




Well....if u hav managed to reach here without any hiccups/second thoughts/revists or recourses, rest assured that u hav all the building blocks of a mature man/woman in place ... else, u'd hav been still reading "below for further details " .... guuuuuhaaha ha ha ha (Apologies to all the bongs who share the surname)

Anyways,

A human's maturity date refers to a future date on which the person shall be able to provide an answer to the question the whole wide world( spherically wide ???? ... bah, just a linguistic liberty akin to artistic freedom, cinematic fuckup etc) has been pondering upon for ages - Why did the chicken cross the road ?. The human has to further support his answer with objective data/observation( just to be doubly sure). Alternately, the human can corroborate the answer by attaching a totally unheard of Punjabi song( the human may choose to record it him/herself; which is so much easier). But the song should be playable in a truck - and i digress.

Human maturities usually range from one day up to 67.253 (a Legstrong number in case u dint know) years or even more. But this maturity date must be seen as the last future date (except if the entire human race is immature - notice the timely use of italics, whooooo ) on which the individual will answer the question with the required proof to the world. Depending on the level of interaction with fellow humans and pepsi sellers, the real reimbursement date can be very different (much shorter). These fellow humans and pepsi buyers usually give the knowledge to the individual and/or the world to advance the maturity date of the individual.

p.s : Did anyone notice that Mature is just a slight re jiggling (love that word) of Mathur ??? No ??????? How immature .... plz sablog pepsi piyo, only youngistan citizens are mature.

Trivia question for all you Fin buffs and Fins in the buff out there:
Who invented the word "Regards" ?

Ans. Ajit Jain.

Surprise Question : How ?

Ans : When Buffet asked him to reinsure guards.

Ok,
Re - Guards,

Sun one tell me

CZ has been not Join in for sometime now ... blame it on lack of participation, or lack of lack of participation .. its just the enthusiasm is not there ... something quite akin to writing this post.

Now, I hav always been perturbed by my complete inability to involve myself in anything (or anyone) for more than a slice of time, which others normally would term as few days. Shit scared of this vice of mine, desperate googling led me to a few astrological sites which attributed the fallacy to my time of birth.

I particularly dont have anything against astrologers, its a perfectly harmless way to earn money because all you do is sit back, read a couple of squares and rhombuses and claim to answer all stupid and even impertinent questions (for examples, just try to remember when u had the honour of meeting one) by looking back years in time to determine whether the sun really passed gas when u were born or it was only the nurse.

Whatever be the case, and they would want you to believe that, you have been a particularly unlucky child to have come into the world at that very precise moment ( as if it was in your hands ), and now you cannot do anything but sit back and crib. But be thankful to them, atleast they have provided you with an unverifiable( and hence, undisputed ) entity to blame all your past mistakes, present screw-ups and future jobs upon.

Thank god for the planets..

Why MBA

MBA is a wierd way to do value-addition, oops seems i've already started....it makes you think of everything in absolutely abstract manners...Gurgaon is well and truly into its winter session now and as i sat in the afternoon, trying to soak up some sunlight, my mind renewed its habitual journey into the philosophical world. Now i have been particularly intrigued by the existence of "friends" and "enemies" in one's life and before i knew it, i was doing a Cost Benefit Analysis of having only friends vs a judicious mixture of friends and enemies. and unsurprisingly, i concluded a sizeable inventory of enemies is extremely vital for a peaceful and economical living. Why, you might ask or might not. But anyway, since this is my blog, i will answer.

Life->All friends->You Trust Everyone->Trust is the mother of Betrayal->

If not betrayed->You are always wary of someone betraying you->Constant Stress->Higher Medical Bills
If betrayed->You were anyways wary of someone betraying you->therefore all the above bills + Mental agony + Opportunity Costs

Get the point ? Lemme know if u do.